The Cat Who Walks Through Walls

Beating her husband to death is every married woman's privilege...
as long as she does it in private.
 
When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
 
Killing in the presence of people who're eating
is as offensive as public quarreling by married couples.
 
There are accepted polite modes for almost any inquiry,
from proposing adultery to a previously chaste wife to soliciting a bribe.
 
'Statutory rape' is carnal knowledge of a statue... although why anyone should care, I have never understood.
 
Writing is a legal way of avoiding work that without actually stealing
and one that doesn't take any talent or training.
But writing is antisocial. It is as solitary as masturbation.
There is no way that writers can be tamed and rendered civilized.
 
How is a sincere criminal, trying hard,
going to get ahead in his profession if his victim fails to cooperate?
Almost all crime relies on the acquiescence of the victim.
If the victim refuses his assigned role, the criminal is placed at a disadvantage,
one so severe that it usually takes an understanding and compassionate judge to set things right.
 
I can be shot -- I have been shot, more than once --
but I can't be shot by anyone who thinks
that just pointing a gun at me has changed the odds.
 
Bill has the socialist disease in its worst form;
he thinks the world owes him a living. He told me sincerely -- smugly! --
that of course everyone was entitled to the best possible medical and hospital service
-- free of course, unlimited of course, and of course the government should pay for it.
He couldn't even understand the mathematical impossibility of what he was demanding.
 
Shrinks are the blind leading the blind;
even the best of them are dealing with a short deck.
Anyone who consults a shrink should have their head examined.
 
How can you argue with a woman who won't?
 
It's not professional to let any surprise slow you down.
 
God moves in mysterious ways, dear;
for every masochist He creates a sadist;
marriages are made in Heaven.
 
The word "love" designates a subjective condition
in which the welfare and happiness of another person
are essential to one's own happiness.
 
Women and cats do what they do;
there is nothing a man can do about it.
 
A wife's unique right, fixed by tradition,
to manipulate her own husband runs unbroken
and invariant at least back to Eve and the Apple.


 
If you note any errors in quotation, please don't hesitate to email me.
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